On the Matter of Shorts...

... I hereby reverse myself.Forget what I said before. Turns out there is a good reason to wear shorts. But first, some guidelines.1) Athletic shorts should only be worn while doing athletic things. Do NOT show up at the airport in running shorts. Totally unacceptable.2) Shorts should be neither too short nor too long. You are not flattering yourself by wearing loose, below-the-knee shorts to "hide" your "flaws." In fact, all you're doing is making your legs look even shorter and heavier than they already are. Short shorts are just slutty. Nuff said on that.3) Go for monochrome. With shorts, you're basically cutting your silhouette in half already. Keep your shirt the same color, or you'll be cutting yourself in thirds. Why would you do that? You're not a magician's assistant.4) If you have booty (and most of you do; stand up and take a bow) avoid skinny tops like tanks or too-tight t-shirts. They'll make you look pear-shaped. Go for something with shoulders and tailoring to even out your silhouette. See the top I'm wearing in the pic? I wear that all the time. Why? Booty.