Crybaby

One of the most intriguing insights our pediatrician, Michel Cohen, makes in his book, The New Basics is that crying in newborns is not necessarily something you should prevent or stop, especially, once they've transitioned from the peaceful "recovery period" to the more agitated "adaptive period" (around 2 weeks; but at 5 days in our Addie's case). During the adaptive period, the outside world starts to intrude very heavily on baby's under-developed central nervous system. They can't take it. They get over-stimulated and respond by fussing, kicking, waving their arms, grunting, making little pig noises, and crying.Oh, the crying. Not crying with tears, but sort of a high-pitched whine.From a parent's point of view it can be heartbreaking. But Dr. Cohen advises against constant comforting. Rather he suggests that once you've checked that they're not hungry, or wet, etc. you should let them cry until they've expended themselves. This is not to teach them a lesson or get them to be self-reliant, or to sleep through the night (which they won't do no matter what you try until they're ready anyway), but rather to allow them to expend this stress energy. Constantly interrupting the crying only makes things worse, especially if you do so by rocking, bouncing, etc., as these things only add to the over-stimulation.We've sat by several times now and watched helplessly as Addie kicked and fussed her way to calm. It's not easy. But once you try to see things from her point of view rather than your own, it begins to make sense. If I'm expending energy, the last thing I want is for someone to come along and interrupt me. Newborns don't have much of a repertoire. They can't go for a run or do some yoga and meditate. Crying and fussing is about it. According to Dr. Cohen, intruding on this essential daily ritual does more harm than good.Of course, I have no idea whether Dr. Cohen's theory about the newborn mind is accurate. It's a theory. Unfortunately, none of us can remember what it feels like to be a newborn. Their conception of the world is so alien from ours, stemming as it does from a vastly different mind-set. All we can do is try to let them educate us to be the kind of parents they need. And hope that our theories approximate their reality in some way.