Tranq me up

Flying blows in the best of circumstances. When you have to bring two cases of expensive, highly breakable camera equipment onto a plane with you, unload it before a bag checker and explain what all those wires are for, it's even worse. I guess those days are over. But never mind that I'm going to have buy all new photo equipment to keep in London. What's even worse is that I can't even bring a bottle of water on board now. I have to wait for the stewardess to bring me one of those tiny plastic cups she's smeared her dirty hands all over. I drink about a gallon of water every flight. This is not going to work.But because someone hatched a scheme to blow up airplanes with iPods and Gatorade, we're all going to have to adjust. Heck, we got used to removing our shoes, didn't we?As my good friend, Avi, points out, bombs blow up planes. Bombs can be made in a variety of ways. So for now, in an attempt to prevent future catastrophes based on yesterday's plot, no more baby formula, bottled water, or MP3 players allowed on board.Alright. Fine. Here's how we can make this work. If I can't drink water or listen to audio books, I'm going to need some serious tranquilizers for the flight. Knock me out, take my shoes, chain me to the seat. Whatever. Just don't ask me to sit consciously through seven and a half hours of security theater.It's fantastic that British and Pakistani authorities exposed this plot. Well done. It's a credit to whatever intelligence-gathering techniques they're using. And indeed, it does make me feel safer knowing that MI5 is on the ball. But extending the glory into a pointless expansion of airport hassles is not going to make us safer. In case somebody forgot to notice, the plot was foiled. Why are we defending against a foiled plot? We'd be better off fantasizing about the next substance a terrorist will use to make a bomb then banning that. What about--oh, I don't know--underwear. After removing your shoes and taking your laptop out of its case, after dumping your Gatorade in the nearest bin and handing over your iPod, be prepared to hand over your skivvies.This is the true victory for the terrorists, by the way. They never have to execute a plot, they only have to plan it, have it exposed, then sit back and watch us humiliate ourselves.